🍽️ Heart Stoppers (The Classics)
4 items · 2 plant-based options · 1 gluten-free option
The Full Regret
$16.99Four eggs, four strips of bacon, four sausage links, hash browns, toast, and a complimentary look of concern from your server. Antacids available at the register.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Cook bacon strips to 145°F internal temperature on flat-top griddle
- 2Step 2: Cook sausage links to 145°F internal temperature
- 3Step 3: Cook eggs to customer specification, minimum 145°F for immediate service
- 4Step 4: Prepare hash browns on clean griddle surface to avoid cross-contamination
- 5Step 5: Toast bread and plate all items, hold at 135°F minimum if not served immediately
Eggs must be cooked to 145°F for immediate service; bacon and sausage to 145°F. Prevent cross-contamination between raw eggs and ready-to-eat items using separate utensils and prep surfaces.
Trucker's Platter
$14.99Two eggs, chicken-fried steak, biscuits with white gravy, and hash browns. Designed by and for people who drive very large vehicles.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Bread beef steak with flour mixture and fry until internal temperature reaches 145°F
- 2Step 2: Prepare sausage gravy, ensuring sausage reaches 155°F and gravy is held at 135°F minimum
- 3Step 3: Cook eggs to customer specification, minimum 145°F
- 4Step 4: Cook hash browns on clean surface and bake or warm biscuits
- 5Step 5: Plate all items and hold at 135°F minimum if not served immediately
Chicken-fried steak must reach 145°F internal temperature; eggs cooked to 145°F for immediate service. Use separate prep areas and utensils for raw meat, eggs, and ready-to-eat items to prevent cross-contamination.
Midnight Stack
$12.99Pancakes at 3am — no explanation needed, no judgment given. Stack of four with butter, syrup, and whatever dignity remains.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Mix pancake batter ensuring proper incorporation of eggs and milk
- 2Step 2: Cook pancakes on preheated griddle to 145°F internal temperature
- 3Step 3: Stack pancakes and top with butter
- 4Step 4: Serve immediately with syrup on the side
Pancakes should be cooked to internal temperature of 145°F on griddle surface. Avoid cross-contamination by using dedicated griddle areas away from raw meat preparation.
The "Healthy" Option
$5.99Oatmeal. Just oatmeal. We're required by the health department to offer this. Brown sugar available. Don't look at us like that.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Combine oats and water in clean pot
- 2Step 2: Cook oatmeal to boiling, ensuring temperature reaches at least 135°F
- 3Step 3: Portion into serving bowl
- 4Step 4: Serve immediately with brown sugar on the side
Cook oatmeal to at least 135°F and maintain at that temperature during holding. Use clean utensils and containers to prevent cross-contamination with allergen-containing foods.
🍔 Burgers & Sandwiches
5 items · 1 plant-based option
The Unremarkable Cheeseburger
$12.99A beef patty. American cheese. Bun. Mustard. Exactly what you expect. Exactly what you need at this hour.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Form ground beef patty using clean hands or gloves, avoiding bare-hand contact
- 2Step 2: Cook patty on griddle to 155°F internal temperature, verified by thermometer
- 3Step 3: Add American cheese during final minute of cooking
- 4Step 4: Toast bun on clean griddle surface
- 5Step 5: Assemble burger with mustard and pickles using clean utensils
Ground beef must be cooked to 155°F internal temperature and verified with a calibrated thermometer. Prevent cross-contamination by using separate prep surfaces for raw ground beef and ready-to-eat toppings.
The Triple Bypass Burger
$15.99Three patties, three cheeses, bacon, fried egg, "special sauce" (it's Thousand Island), pickle. Not recommended by any cardiologist we know.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Cook bacon to 145°F and set aside on clean surface
- 2Step 2: Form and cook three beef patties to 155°F internal temperature
- 3Step 3: Add cheeses to patties during final cooking stage
- 4Step 4: Fry egg to 145°F internal temperature on clean griddle area
- 5Step 5: Toast bun and assemble burger with dressing, pickles, and all cooked components
All three beef patties must reach 155°F internal temperature; bacon to 145°F; fried egg to 145°F. Use separate utensils for raw meat handling and prevent cross-contamination with ready-to-eat components like cheese and pickles.
Patty Melt
$11.99Beef patty, grilled onions, Swiss cheese, on rye bread, butter-pressed. A truly underappreciated sandwich.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Cook ground beef patty to 155°F internal temperature
- 2Step 2: Sauté onions on clean griddle surface until caramelized
- 3Step 3: Butter rye bread slices on outside surfaces
- 4Step 4: Assemble sandwich with cooked patty, grilled onions, and Swiss cheese
- 5Step 5: Grill assembled sandwich until bread is golden and cheese melts, maintaining 135°F minimum
Ground beef patty must reach 155°F internal temperature before assembling sandwich. Use separate prep areas and utensils for raw beef and ready-to-eat ingredients like bread and cheese.
The Chef's Special BLT
$10.99It's a BLT. There is no chef. The "special" is that we charged you for it.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Cook bacon strips to 145°F internal temperature
- 2Step 2: Wash and dry lettuce and slice tomatoes on clean, sanitized cutting board
- 3Step 3: Toast bread slices
- 4Step 4: Assemble sandwich with mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, and cooked bacon using clean utensils
Cook bacon to 145°F internal temperature; wash lettuce and tomato thoroughly under running water. Prevent cross-contamination by handling raw bacon separately from ready-to-eat vegetables using different utensils and surfaces.
Grilled Cheese
$8.99American cheese on white bread. The sandwich your mom made when she didn't feel like cooking. We don't feel like it either, but here we are.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Butter outside surfaces of two bread slices
- 2Step 2: Place American cheese between bread slices
- 3Step 3: Grill on clean griddle surface until golden brown and internal temperature reaches 145°F
- 4Step 4: Serve immediately or hold at 135°F minimum
Cook sandwich until internal temperature reaches at least 145°F and cheese is fully melted. Use clean griddle surface to prevent cross-contamination from meat products.
🌅 Something Resembling Breakfast
3 items · 1 plant-based option · 1 gluten-free option
Two Eggs Any Style
$7.99Fried, scrambled, over-easy, poached — we'll attempt all of them. With toast.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Crack eggs on flat surface away from prep area to avoid shell contamination
- 2Step 2: Cook eggs to customer specification on clean griddle, minimum 145°F for immediate service
- 3Step 3: Toast bread on clean griddle area
- 4Step 4: Plate eggs and toast with butter, serve immediately or hold at 135°F minimum
Eggs must be cooked to 145°F for immediate service; if pooled for scrambling, must reach 155°F. Use separate utensils and prep surfaces for raw eggs to prevent cross-contamination with ready-to-eat foods.
Biscuits & Gravy
$10.99Two biscuits under a ladle of sausage gravy. It's 4am and you're here. This is exactly right.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Bake or warm biscuits to internal temperature of at least 135°F
- 2Step 2: Cook pork sausage to 155°F internal temperature, breaking into crumbles
- 3Step 3: Prepare gravy with sausage, milk, and flour, cooking to 135°F minimum
- 4Step 4: Plate biscuits and ladle hot gravy over top, ensuring 135°F minimum holding temperature
Sausage in gravy must reach 155°F internal temperature; gravy must be held at 135°F minimum. Prevent cross-contamination by handling raw sausage with dedicated utensils and washing hands between tasks.
Breakfast Burrito
$9.99Eggs, cheese, potatoes, and whatever protein we're not out of. No promises. All flavor.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Cook protein (bacon to 145°F, sausage to 155°F) on dedicated surface
- 2Step 2: Scramble eggs to 155°F internal temperature
- 3Step 3: Cook diced potatoes to 135°F minimum
- 4Step 4: Warm flour tortilla and assemble with eggs, cheese, potatoes, and cooked protein
- 5Step 5: Wrap burrito and serve immediately or hold at 135°F minimum
Eggs must reach 155°F if pooled and scrambled; meat proteins to 145°F (whole cuts) or 155°F (ground). Use separate prep areas for raw eggs, raw meat, and ready-to-eat ingredients to prevent cross-contamination.
🥣 Sides That Haunt You
4 items · 3 plant-based options · 2 gluten-free options
Bottomless Fries
$4.99We will keep bringing them until one of us gives up.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Cut potatoes and rinse to remove excess starch
- 2Step 2: Pat dry and fry in oil heated to 350°F
- 3Step 3: Cook until golden brown and internal temperature reaches 135°F minimum
- 4Step 4: Season with salt and hold at 135°F minimum or serve immediately
Fry potatoes in oil heated to 350°F until golden brown and internal temperature reaches 135°F minimum. Use dedicated fryer or ensure oil is free from cross-contact with allergens like wheat from battered items.
Onion Rings
$5.99Thick-cut, heavily battered, deeply fried. A commitment you'll think about in the morning.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Slice onions into rings and separate
- 2Step 2: Dip onion rings in flour, egg wash, then breadcrumb coating
- 3Step 3: Fry in oil heated to 350°F until golden brown and 135°F internal temperature
- 4Step 4: Drain excess oil and hold at 135°F minimum or serve immediately
Fry battered onion rings in oil heated to 350°F until internal temperature reaches 135°F minimum. Use separate fryer or dedicated fry time to prevent cross-contamination with non-allergen items.
Gravy Fries
$6.99Regular fries. Ladle of gravy. Done.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Prepare fries by frying in 350°F oil until golden and 135°F internal temperature
- 2Step 2: Ensure gravy is heated to and maintained at 135°F minimum
- 3Step 3: Portion fries into serving container
- 4Step 4: Ladle hot gravy over fries and serve immediately
Fries must reach 135°F internal temperature during cooking; gravy must be held at 135°F minimum. Ensure gravy ladle does not contact fries directly to maintain proper holding temperatures.
Coleslaw
$2.99Made fresh. This week.
Ingredients & Food Safety ▸
- 1Step 1: Wash and shred cabbage and carrots on clean, sanitized cutting board
- 2Step 2: Prepare dressing with mayonnaise, vinegar, and sugar
- 3Step 3: Combine vegetables and dressing, mixing thoroughly
- 4Step 4: Store in covered container at 41°F or below, label with preparation date
Coleslaw must be held at 41°F or below at all times; discard after 7 days. Wash all vegetables thoroughly and use clean, sanitized utensils to prevent cross-contamination.
🥤 Beverages & Life Support
4 items · 4 plant-based options · 3 gluten-free options
Bottomless Coffee
$3.99The reason you're still awake. The reason you're still here. House-roasted, refilled without being asked.
Decaf
$3.99Why are you here? Not just at this diner — in general. $3.99 nonetheless.
Milkshake
$7.99Chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry. Hand-spun. Thick enough that the straw stands up unsupported — a benchmark of quality.
Chocolate Milk
$3.99We will not judge you.